Excerpt from “Crime Drama/Do Not Cross” by Melinda Loomis
So
I became Zan.
A
crapload of paperwork (part of which, the prior experience requirement, I
fudged), background check and one state exam later, and I had my PI license. No
one questioned that I was changing my name at the same time. I concocted the
story that I was an actress trying to remake myself to try and jumpstart my
comatose career, and that was the end of that conversation. Apparently I wasn’t
the only one who thought Alexandra “Zan” Jones was a lot catchier and more
dramatic than Susan Cooper. I bought my first fedora and started wearing it
24/7, and gave myself a catchphrase for good measure. I figured it would all
come in handy when I finally got on the show.
Because,
you see, it was also a calculated career move. I hoped that in addition to
getting to be Zan, that eventually I could solve a high enough profile case to
make the news. My plan was that the novelty of casting an actress who was a
real-life PI on a show about PI’s would prove irresistible to the PI: Private Investigators producers and
network, and I would be in.
The Rochelle Staub Questions
What is the weirdest thing that ever happened to
you in Los Angeles?
It was actually something that almost
happened. I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard and there was a huge crash
behind me. A palm frond had fallen and hit the sidewalk. A guy walking toward
me held his hands about twelve inches apart and said, “It missed you by this
much,” and I thought, what a stupid way to die. I had visions of LAPD notifying
my family just like they do on T.V.
Do you have a yet-to-be realized L.A. dream?
Writing for television. I’m currently in the UCLA Extension TV
Writing Program and would love to be able to make my living doing that. I’ve
worked so many jobs I loathed that it would be wonderful to have a dream job.
Why write short stories? Why write at all?
What's in it for you?
I’ve only recently discovered the markets for short stories. I’ve
always had trouble trying to write novels or feature scripts; it gets to a
certain size and I just can’t wrangle it. But short stories and TV scripts are
manageable for me.
I’m not a brilliant conversationalist, but I feel like I’m able to
express myself well in writing. And I like crime writing in particular because
I like seeing people get what they deserve, good, bad, or otherwise. That doesn’t
always happen in real life so it’s nice to see justice served, even if it’s
fictional.
What is the biggest challenge in writing to
theme?
Hoping that the judges will feel you’ve met that particular
requirement.
Are the characters in your story based on you or
people you know/met?
No, more like types of people. So many people come here to break
into the entertainment industry, but most won’t make it. I’ll watch the credits
of old movies and TV shows and wonder what happened to the actors who didn’t
make it big. You know their Hollywood dream wasn’t to have their biggest credit
be “Girl at party” or “Guy at bar”. I wonder about those people and what
happens to them when the dream eludes them.
Plus, thanks to the internet, people who are overly obsessed with
TV shows have an outlet to share that with the world and some of it is kind of
disturbing, so that contributed to the idea of someone who was such a fan that
she tried to live as if she was a character on the show.
Los Angeles is a patchwork quilt of different
neighborhoods. Why did you pick the area you used for your story, and how did
the neighborhood influence your writing?
When I read the theme for LAst
Resort, my mind went straight to an actress whose career hadn’t happened.
Of course she’s still in Hollywood—leaving would be admitting defeat. I lived
in Hollywood during the same period as Zan, so I know my way around the
neighborhood and its recent history. I didn’t need to research it.
Are there scenes in your story based on real
life—yours, hearsay, or a news story you read?
The catalyst for Zan becoming a private investigator, the checks
being stolen by a neighbor, actually happened to me. She cleaned out my
checking account. The difference is my neighbor didn’t answer the door when I
tried to confront her. But I still had this amazing feeling of euphoria from
solving the crime, plus I was able to tie it to the TV show Zan is obsessed
with.
What came first, the character or the
plot?
The plot, based on the theme. I know I said earlier Zan came to
mind immediately, but it was more her situation and her obsession than her
personally, and that’s what drove the story.
While you're writing: music (what kind?), dead silence, or…?
I find listening to songs while I’m writing to be distracting. I
usually have creativity music from YouTube going because it stays in the
background. There’s a website called Coffitivity.com that plays coffee shop
background noise, and I use that sometimes because it’s also background enough
that it doesn’t distract me.
Favorite writing quote—yours or from someone else…
Anne Lamott: “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your
stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have
behaved better.”
There was major family drama after my father died in 2011 that was
extremely traumatic and unnecessary, all the responsibility fell on me, and it
made me depressed and angry. It went on for several years and at one point I
thought, when this is over, I never want to think about it again, EVER. Earlier
this year I used the experience as the basis for a script for my UCLA Extension
class and got raves for it. Enough time had passed and I was able to use the
experience to my advantage. It was wonderfully cathartic and Anne’s quote was
an inspiration.
Your writing ritual begins with…
Unfortunately I procrastinate like crazy, so my “ritual” usually involves
me suddenly being interested in housework. When the deadline is looming and I
don’t have any choice is when the muse finally shows up. I submit right at
deadline a lot.
Melinda
Loomis was born and raised in Southern California. She has at times been an
office drone, culinary student and unemployed bum.
LAst Resort is her first
time being published. She got the news that she was accepted as a contributor
on her birthday.
Melinda
lives in the Los Angeles area with her extremely photogenic cat Sophie. Visit
her online at www.melindaloomis.com
.
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